Uncertainties

I wasn't sure how I felt about blogging about this process but I have been reminded that there are so many people that have gone through this scenario before me and have lifted me up with their experiences that I would like the opportunity to do the same for someone in the future. I feel like that's one of the reasons that God has put me here on earth.

A short back story...I have had painful periods for as long as I can remember. My doctor originally put me on birth control to make it ease up and for years I was fine. After JGIII and I got married and we decided to start a family, I was no longer going to be on these pills. I began having worse and worse pain every month but thought it was something we (as women) just had to live with. I refused to ever let that be a reason for missing work or not being able to do something. Fast forward to 2 years ago. In a routine visit with my endocrinologist about bmy thyroid issues, she discussed with me the possibility of having Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). No one had ever mentioned that to me before and after a simple blood test for my hormone levels, it was determined that I did in fact have that. I was put on Metformin (a diabetic drug) that has been shown to help with PCOS. After being on that for only 2 months, I ended up being in the hospital diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis (a whole 'nother ordeal lol). While I was there, they confirmed that I didn't have quite a few cysts surrounding both of my ovaries. I got the UC under control and was seemingly fine. However, I was still not able to get pregnant and having those painful cycles. Each month that went by was more frustration and heartache that it hadn't worked.

Fast forward to 1 year ago. I was at home with the flu (the real flu-it'll teach me not to get a flu shot) and of course started my cycle at the same time (Murphy's Law). I was having such bad pain that I finally had to go to the emergency room. They decided it was my appendix which they removed but made sure to tell me that the cysts that had been on both of my ovaries were now abscesses. I left the hospital from the surgery and returned right back the next week because the pain had actually increased. Turns out those abscesses were causing high fevers and LOTS of pain.

My ob-gyn finally saw me and did an ultrasound. Something had to be done immediately. I was admitted for my 3rd hospital stay within a month and placed on high intravenous antibiotics. They also attempted to drain the abscesses around my ovaries. This was all the doctors combined efforts to save the ovaries as I was still trying to get pregnant for the first time. The procedure worked on my right ovary but not on the left. They successfully got the infection under control and happily I've had no fevers since then. However, in the past 2-3 months, the pain has been coming back with a vengeance. Some days I can go with only taking Advil/ibuprofen at bedtime other days I have to be on it every 6 hours or I can't function.

Because of the problems with the abscesses, my ob-gyn said I will have to see a fertility specialist to assist in our getting pregnant. I had my first appointment with a local clinic that many people I knew had used and were successful at. I met with the doctor on the first visit who told me there would be nothing they could BUT in vitro fertilization. I was totally not prepared for that. Because of the damage that was done by the infection, much of the area surrounding and including my ovaries is damaged. My fallopian tubes are at least partially blocked and the fluid that is supposed to be absorbed by your body is instead cycling around through my tubes, uterus, etc. This fluid will be instantly toxic to any egg or sperm that encountered it. The doc wanted to perform a sterilization procedure on me to seal off the tubes and keep this fluid out of the uterus. Wow! Imagine going in thinking they would go over the several steps you could take before in vitro but being told they wanted to "sterilize" you. Needless to say I was shaken up. I had been at this appointment alone because JGIII couldn't leave work and I was falling to pieces. I honestly felt hopeless at this point. To top everything off, before I left I had to meet with the financial person. I felt like they were just there to take my money.

As I am not one to relinquish control on anything, I decided to get a second opinion. I had several other people who recommended UNC Fertility. I did some online research and decided to give it a try. My meeting with Dr. Fritz was awesome. He spent SO much time with me and made sure I understood everything that he was talking about. He didn't rush or act like he had something else to do. He was totally honest with me that my body is really failing me in this area. He told me the same things that I had been told at the other clinic but I didn't feel like all hope was lost.

We are taking everything one step at a time.

Today is the first step. I had my AMH (Ovarian reserve) levels tested to see what my total number of egg storage is like. As long as it's good, it means that if we go through with the in vitro, the stimulation would be able to produce eggs. I'll be meeting in a short little while to get these results.

I'm saying lots of prayers today that things work out. I know this is in God's hands and I need to, as they say, "Let Go and Let God". Easier said than done sometimes.